Prayer Build Resilience
I was never big on prayer or even meditation for that matter, however, now that I am a new mom, I find myself doing both more often. I love taking care of my daughter Melody, but I do miss the stimulation of a work environment. I am a teacher, so I thrive on the ongoing chaos of a challenging classroom dynamic. I am good at creating lesson plans and exciting writing workshops that engage and inspire even the most reluctant readers. Here, I am in my element.
But since I am not currently working, I end up giving myself projects and deadlines that don’t really matter to anyone but myself. I manage to find ways give myself unnecessary stress in order to meet these goals. For instance, I will convince myself I need to clean and organize the basement and when it doesn’t get done I beat myself up and sometimes bring my husband down with me blaming him for not rushing to jump by my side in my deluded chaos of stir- craziness.
Most moms I have talked to about this can relate and seem to empathize with my dilemma. But I am not looking for someone to co-sign my pity party. I am just looking for a little serenity, balance and peace of mind.
The only thing that seems to be really building my resilience is prayer. When I pray (especially the serenity prayer) it reminds me that I am not in control and that God , the universe & nature are SOOO much bigger than me. So if I shed away the ego that consumes me, I will be free. On a daily basis, multiple times a day, I pray. Not because I think there is a big man in the sky listening to every prayer simultaneously and keep track in some sky notebook, but because it is a healthy way of escaping from my “monkey mind”. It is a way of relinquishing control and letting God (or a “higher power”) do the work. So I pray and I become more and more resilient to other people and my own crazy thinking as well.
I heard someone say once that resentments will make us crazy but guilt is more manageable so instead of “people pleasing” and trying to do too much in one day, get used to saying no and feeling a little guilt because guilt is not as toxic as building up resentments. This statement really made sense to me. Also- is something or someone is bothering me I try to repeat the mantra – “It is what it , how am I going to be?” This was I can take ownership for my reaction to the problem.
Part of the solution for me today (which was much different than how I used to handle things years ago) is to pray! Pray incessantly!!